My First Drunk Blog! Royal Drunk

Let's talk about China's favorite party girl!  Woot!

Okay,  you won't see her spring break flashing her boobs in Cancun.  But she has her place as one of the four legendary beauties of China.

How beautiful was she?  She was SOOO beautiful that:

1.  “When she tuned around with smiling glance, she exuded every charm; in the harem all who a wore powder and paint of the beauty then seemed barren."

                 --  Bai  Juyi

2.  She had TERRIBLE body odor.  She constantly needed to bath.  History was made with the chance encounter of emperor seeing her naked.

3. She was described as having full of flesh.

4.  A pony express service was invented because of her.  Too bad the horses trampled over people...and the horses were delivering lychee thousands of miles from south.... for herself.

5.  She never grew old because she was murdered as a scapegoat for the An Lu Shan Rebellion.

6.  Ironically she flirted with An Lu Shan before the rebellion.

So how does drunk royalty look？Skip to 32:45-33:15.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YguN1w9QePI

Limber.  If you want to see an hour of this, go knock yourself out.

How does drunk royalty sound like?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2shLJc4Z_Yk

Here's my rough translation.

Island,  ice wheel begins to turn and move.
I see the Jade Rabbit. (The Chinese see a jade rabbit making medicine on the moon, not a smiley face.)

The Jade Rabbit rises early from the east.

The ice wheel leaves the island.

The cosmos separates the brightness outside.

The bright moon drifts space.

Just like what I said. Ahhhhhhh.

Chang E leaves the moon palace.

I am like Chang E leaving the moon palace. （The work she describes herself is奴, "slave" because she serves the emperor.  Literally it should mean, "The slave us like Chang E leaving the moon palace.")

A good simile.

Chang E descends The 9 Levels (9 Levels of heaven)

Softly descending her vast cold palace.

Ahhhhh, the vast cold palace.

The jade bridge slopes has she holds onto the handrail.

The Mandarin ducks come play in the water.  (Lack of focus, middle of the night imagining ducks are playing.  REALLY drunk at this point.)

The coy in the water and facing [either Yang Guifei or the moon].

Ahhhh, looking from the water.

**drunk horse or bird at the distance**

Long spaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaace,

GOOOOOOOOOOOSE!

Goooose fliiiiiiies！

Aiii Yaa  Goose Errrr Fliiiies!

The Goose flies swiftly!

Hearing my sound, the flowers in the dark fall. (Well if you were screaming GOOSE and such a high pitch, I'd fall to the ground too!)

This scenery will allows any drunk person to enjoy.

Without realizing it, I'm at the 100 Flower Pavilion!

END SCENE

Conclusion:  Royal drunks are flexible with no attention span.