Love in a Fallen City 傾城之戀 Part 4

http://www.rain8.com/article/class10/1512.htm

by Eileen Chang 張愛玲

Translated by Yoyo  幽柚

Part 3

正說著，門簾一動，白老太太道：「是誰？」四奶奶探頭進來道：「媽，徐太太還在樓下呢，等著跟您說七妹的婚事。」

At that moment the door moved, Mother Bai asked, "Who's there?"  4th Wife poked her head in and entered, " Mother, Madam Xu is still downstairs, waiting to talk with you about 7th Sister's wedding."

白老太太道：「我這就起來。你把燈捻 開。」

Mother Bai responded, "I'll just get up then.  Go open the lamps."

屋裡點上了燈，四奶奶扶著老太太坐起身來，伺候她穿衣下床。白老太太問道：「徐太太那邊找到了合適的人？」

With the room lit, 4th Wife helped Mother by the hand to stand and helped her change her clothes.  Mother Bai asked, " Where did Madam Xu find a suitable mate?"

四奶奶道：「聽她說得怪好的，就是年大 了幾歲。」

4th Wife answered, "I heard her say he was unusually good, its just he's a bit older."

白老太太咳了一聲道：「寶絡這孩子，今年也二十四了，真是我心上一個疙瘩。白替她操了心，還讓人家說我：她不是我親生的，我存心耽擱了她！」

Mother Bai sighed, " This child Bao Lao is 24 this year, indeed a sore spot in my heart.  Helped her worry for nothing, and let people gossip about me:  She's not my natural child, I deliberately delayed her!"

四 奶奶把老太太攙到外房去，老太太道：「你把我那兒的新茶葉拿出來，給徐太太泡一碗，綠洋鐵筒子裡的是大姑奶奶去年帶來的龍井，高罐兒裡的是碧螺春，別弄錯 了。」

4th Wife helped Mother Bai to the outer room.  Mother Bai said, "Go get those new tea leaves out and give Madam Xu a bowl.  The green canister has old auntie's (father's eldest sister) Long Jing tea, the high canister has Green Snail Spring tea, don't mix them up."

四奶奶一面答應著，一面叫喊道：「來人哪！開燈哪！」只聽見一陣腳步響，來了些粗手大腳的孩子們，幫著老媽子把老太太搬運下樓去了。

4th Wife answered, she shouted, "  Servants!  Light the lamps!"  With a sudden burst of footsteps, a few rough handed big footed children helped carry the old lady downstairs.

四奶奶一個人在外間屋裡翻箱倒櫃找尋老太太的私房茶葉，忽然笑道：「咦！七妹，你打哪兒鑽出來了，嚇我一跳！我說怎麼的，剛才你一晃就不見影 兒了！」

4th Wife went alone to the outer room, flipping over chests and draws to find the old woman's private stash of tea, suddenly she burst out laughing, " Ye!  7th Sister, you came out of nowhere and gave me a jump!  When I was talking you left in a flash!"

寶絡細聲道：「我在陽台上乘涼。」

Bao Lao quiet said, "  I was on the balcony cooling off."

四奶奶格格笑道：「害臊呢！我說，七妹，趕明兒你有了婆家，凡事可得小心一點，別由著性兒鬧。離婚豈是容易的 事？要離就離了，稀鬆平常！果真那麼容易，你四哥不成材，我幹嗎不離婚哪！我也有娘家呀，我不是沒處可投奔的，可是這年頭兒，我不能不給他們划算划算，我 是有點人心 ，就得顧著他們一點，不能靠定了人家，把人家拖窮了。我還有三分廉恥呢！」

4th Wife laughed with a cackle and said, "Shy aren't you?  I say, 7th Sister, one of these days you're going to have family in-laws, you must be more careful with everything, your 4th Brotheris useless, why shouldn't I just divorce?  I also have my own family, it's not like I can't seek shelter.   But throughout these years whether or not I let them weigh our the pros and cons, I was a little compassionate.  If I could look after them just a bit, and not rely on people, and pull people from poverty.  I still have my sense of honor!"

白流蘇在她母親床前淒淒涼涼跪著，聽見了這話，把手裡的繡花鞋幫子緊緊按在心口上，戳在鞋上的一枚針，紮了手也不覺得疼，小聲道：「這屋子可 住不得了！……住不得了！」

Liu Su was in front of her mother's bed desolately kneeling and heard these words.  She took the embroidered shoes on her hands and pressed it on her heart, the needles stuck on the shoe stabbed her hand, yet she felt no pain.  She quietly said, "I can't live in this house anymore!.....  Can't live here!"

她的聲音灰暗而輕飄，像斷斷續續的塵灰吊子。她彷彿做夢似的，滿頭滿臉都掛著塵灰吊子，迷迷糊糊向前一撲，自己以為是枕住了她 母親的膝蓋，嗚嗚咽咽哭了起來道：「媽，媽，你老人家給我做主！」

Her words were dark but clear, like murky dust hanging int he air.  It was as if she were dreaming, her full head and face hung with the dust, billowing forward. She thought she was resting her head on her mother's knees,   whimpering, "Ma, ma, you are the old person who made the decision!"

她母親呆著臉，笑嘻嘻的不做聲。她摟住她母親的腿，使勁搖撼著，哭道：「媽！媽！」

Her mother's face stared blankly, laughing without sound.  She clung onto her mother's leg, with all her strength crying, "Ma!  Ma!"

恍惚 又是多年前，她還只十來歲的時候，看了戲出來，在傾盆大雨中和家裡人擠散了。她獨自站在人行道上，瞪著眼看人，人也瞪著眼看她，隔著雨淋淋的車窗，隔著一 層無形的玻璃罩——無數的陌生人。人人都關在他們自己的小世界裡，她撞破了頭也撞不進去。她似乎是魔住了。 忽然聽見背後有腳步聲，猜著是她母親來了，便竭 力定了一定神，不言語。她所祈求的母親與她真正的母親根本是兩個人。

Vaguely many years ago, she at the mere age of 10 was watching a show, in the pouring rain was squeezed away from her family.  Alone standing on the sidewalk, staring at people.  People were staring back, separated from the dripping rain inside car windows, separated by a formless layer of glass-- countless strangers.  Everyone is shut within their own little world, even breaking her head she can't get through.   It's as if she were possessed.  Suddenly she heard the sound of footsteps behind her, guessing it was her mother, with all her energy she knew her spirit, speechless.  The mother she prayed for and her real mother were two different people.

Part 5